Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Ahhhh Wednesday. What a wonderful day. This Wednesday has been so great to me. The sun was shining, I was allowed to paint at work, and the stock market was kind to me*. Yet when it comes to me, it would seem, every fortune comes with a price. A very gross, unsanitary price.

Beautiful Brooklyn, my new home, my sexy sanctuary, blessed me with a new found wisdom that I intend to share with all of you. Brooklyn reminded me of the power of humility...and my oh my...I can't even begin to display the appropriate gratitude for this kind gesture.

Today, my dear readers, Brooklyn became a borough incarnate, taking the form of two very loud, angry, scrunchy-clad women. These women reminded me how lucky I am to have come this far. I moved 4,000 miles away from the peaceful drifts of snow and boredom, to be welcomed by these women with their wonderful words of kindness...

...and by "welcomed" I mean "expectorated on"...and by "with their wonderful words of kindness," I mean "with their revolting saliva".

Yes my darlings. I was spat upon during a stroll through my awesome neighborhood...on my favorite jeans, too. My friends and co-workers already have to deal with my awful coffee breath. Now I have to worry about my pants being haunted by smelly halitosis...or the serious gum disease GINGIVITIS.

Thank you Brooklyn.

Thank you for reminding me I resemble something that is socially acceptable to spit a sidewalk...or tiny, annoying dogs.

Actually, I make it sound like I was totally devastated by this chain of events, but I really had no clue that these two crazy ladies had directed their anger towards me as they were arguing. I was too excited about walking to the store to purchase fancy beer. I mean should see this place's selection.

At first the ladies were in front of me, but as I was texting a friend and giggling, they seemed to think my jovial demeanor was an affront to their very "serious" argument. So they got behind Jess and I, and proceeded to threaten us. According to Jess, they said they were going to break her glasses so she would be forced to wear contacts. I overheard one of them talk about how they had spit on my pants as we walked through the super store's doors. I looked down, and by gum, they were right! There it was...a handsome globule of saliva drifting slowly down the threads of my jeans.

To my surprise I wasn't mad, or sad, or frustrated. I did worry for my health, but that's just due to an intense fear of foreign bodily fluids. I suppose I was mostly annoyed because I really just wanted to imbibe something tasty, and these morons kept me from doing this in a timely fashion.

But hey, it's okay Brooklyn. I still love you. I just need to start wearing water resistant gear when I walk around your sexy self from now on.

It's poncho time! Yeah!

*Note: I do not own stock. Nor do I venture to markets of any sort**.

**Double Note: Okay I lied. I love markets***.

***and cupcakes.

Here's the latest artwork I've created. The first pics are of two new bookmarks. I'm not sure why I'm so into drawing on those things lately. The last pic is of the tattoo I was commissioned to draw for my friend Kirstin. She wanted me to use the lion image on this scottish flag and have it rising from the ashes, like a phoenix. I heard she loves it.

K...I'm going to bed now. Hugs and kisses.


Saturday, March 6, 2010

NYC updaaaate

Holy toledo.

I can't believe it's been four months since my last entry. It's been crazy since I've arrived in NYC. Jess and I were hired right away for a seasonal job at Macy's for about two months. However glamorous that may seem, being employed at that cesspool was the shittiest work experience I've had to endure my entire life. Some of my fellow employees were so vapid, they actually worked like we received commission for every sale we made, even though we didn't. We only made eight dollars an hour to have greedy assholes, disgruntled customers, and moronic managers yell at us in front of everyone. That pay pretty much only covered coffee and a pass for the train. The animosity really wasn't worth the lousy paycheck. This was the first job I have ever walked out on. Seriously.

My body rejected Macy's.

While I was having lunch on Christmas Eve, watching all the drones pass by, I found my body gravitating towards the Macy's employee exit. My mind kept yelling at my body
"NO! You're better than this, body of mine! I beckon you! Beseech you, even! Stay until the end of your shift!" But I kept walking. My mind continued to scream, telling me I needed the money, that I have too much integrity to leave in such an inconsiderate manner...but then my fist punched my face to quiet my mind's inane thoughts and my body walked me straight out of that temple of horrors.

I then proceeded to have the best Christmas ever.

Jess, Nick and I played rockband, drank spirits, and opened presents all night long. It was a blast. There was absolutely no pressure to maintain tradition, feign interest in what my rude extended family had to say, or wake up at a god awful early hour.

I was extremely excited about seeing Jess and Nick's faces when they opened the presents I made them. For Nick, I created a half-poney half-monkey monster to please him (please listen to Jonathan Coultan's song "Skullcrusher Mountain" so that you may feel enlightened...and better as a person overall).

I painted a flask for Jess that says "MILK". She had always wanted a flask that represented her drinking habits, so I made that flask in honor of her love for dairy. I was so pleased with how the flask came out, I plan to paint more flasks in the future.

As for my own personal work, I've been in a sort of stalemate with my creativity. Not because I don't have any ideas, but because I'm unable to find a place to execute my work. For some reason, I have to be in an environment that feels right, otherwise I just sit and stare at my monitor, or canvas, and draw a blank. It's the weirdest thing. It's not that I haven't been creating anything. I have been, but not for myself. I've been making things for other people, and because of that, I've been sort of hard on myself. I'm hoping that within the next month I'll be back in the swing of things and have more of my own personal work to share, not only here, but on Etsy and my website.

I'm going to close this blog with images of the other things I've created since I came to NYC. I will write more about the more positive things that are going on now that Jess and I are finally settling in, thanks to our new, and much better jobs.

I love and miss you all. I hope you're doing well and wish to hear from you soon <3



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